If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
