I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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