She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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