so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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