your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
