How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize