So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
