whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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