ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
