This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize