I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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