im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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