he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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