you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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