i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
