I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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