I need help removing her.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
