Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
