My underwear smells like fireworks.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
