Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
