that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize