Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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