If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
