I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
