What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
