i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
