How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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