I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Verdict: uncircumcised.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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