wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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