I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
