And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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