I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize