real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
