Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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