we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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