We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
