yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
