I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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