Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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