You really coming over, don't trick.
how can u be prego again
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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