the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
