I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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