as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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