Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
