Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
