Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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