He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
