so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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