I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
