I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
