i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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