she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
