Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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