maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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