I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
