singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
