I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I could fuck to npr.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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