just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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