Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
